Life will be life. There is no escaping that truth, the unexpected moments, the heavy days, the constant responsibilities that come with caring, supporting, and advocating for someone you love. But one thing I have learned is this: When you keep pushing through everything, something eventually pushes back.
Stress doesn't just live in your mind; it settles in your body. It shows up in ways you cannot always see: in fatigue, headaches, sleepless nights, or the quiet ache that never quite goes away. I learned this lesson the hard way.
Years ago, stress almost took me out.
At the time, I was working at the Superior Court of New Jersey in Trenton, raising my teenage daughter and my son, who was experiencing a mental and behavioral health need. I was trying to hold it all together, being everything for everyone, everywhere, all the time.
One day, during a court hearing, I began feeling a strange tightness in my chest. I quietly left the courtroom, something I never did during a hearing, and went to the Judge's chambers. Sensing something was wrong, the Judge recessed the court and came to check on me.
What followed was one of the scariest moments of my life.
Paramedics arrived and rushed me to Robert Wood Johnson Hospital in Hamilton. My heart rate was dangerously high, and no amount of medication seemed to slow it down. Eventually, an endocrinologist diagnosed me with Graves' Disease, caused by a toxic thyroid that had been quietly wreaking havoc for some time.
I was told I had experienced a thyroid storm, a life-threatening medical emergency marked by chest pain, rapid heartbeat, fever, and confusion. I remember the doctor looking at me and saying, "You should not be alive right now. What is holding you up?" It was God's grace! Even in the middle of the storm, He was holding me together when my body couldn't.
Yet, even after hearing that, I kept it moving. I told myself I did not have time to be sick. I had too much to do, too many people depending on me, too many fires to put out.
Until another storm hit!
While at work, I developed Bell's Palsy, followed by another thyroid crisis. That is when my team of doctors decided it was time to completely remove my thyroid. I was forced to stop. To rest. To heal.
Looking back at my passport photo taken before my diagnosis. I can see it now, the exhaustion in my eyes, the heaviness in my face, feeling defeated, no smile. I was so busy caring for everyone else, being Superwoman, that I ignored the signs, and stress became my kryptonite.
Stress will speak, and if you don't listen, it will make you listen.
To anyone walking a similar path, especially those caring for a loved one with a mental or behavioral health need, I need you to hear this: You deserve care, too!
Taking care of yourself isn't selfish; it's necessary. It's how you protect your emotional, mental, and physical wellness.
If you are feeling overwhelmed, let someone close to you know, connect with a support group, talk with a therapist, or reach out for respite care. There is strength in community and family. It is okay to say, "I need help. I need a break."
Give yourself permission to rest, to feel, and to be human.
I am living proof that healing is possible. Stress tried to take me out, but God had more for me to do.
REFLECTION:
What is your body trying to tell you that you've been ignoring?
Listen * Rest * Heal
You are still needed, but you are needed well.
Mind*Body*Soul
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